Been having some luxury of time.
Just enough to ask myself, have I grown up?
Well… looking at the mirror, seeing the same face, the curly hair, and this pair of eyes, just an inch taller from my last year, and somewhat heavier I think….
I grew up, I did…
As a kid…
I used to see the world as kind and awesome as I thought.
I used to enjoy my life which people might have thought to be that hard.
Having such a blurry eye sight…..
But at least it helped me not be bothered in the dark.
But times also occured when…
I fell, I bled, then I cried… again
I FELL, I BLED, and …….I cried….
These are things people used to refer for those of weak kinds.
But for me , they are just VERB. Just acted in the way a normal person would do. At least I did not fly!
As a teen…
My blank space has turned to a wall of paintings
Every strokes I made, every touch of colors was to satisfy the self, my eyes, my ego and my mind…
Life was an art…CREATED, CONTROLLED…. EVERY SPACE WAS
CONSUMED.
Transitioning to my early 20’s
Life was f*ucked up!
All my brushes broke, no walls to paint, not having a pinch of colors to fill up my dark phases.
Life was an art tho, STILL,
but no longer I am the artist, no longer I created my path, not even can I afford to do each strokes myself.
My life was consumed…but for the time with agony, battling to at least survive each night, which had tortured my mind…
Today, that I managed to write these things, to tell a story of a man who loves art….
Many thanks for an ounce of courage I still have , which I got from those moments I spent in the dark…
space where I can see nothing.
But a place to hear myself, to feel it, most is to understand…
I grew up, one year older,
with tons of thoughts.
Heavier breath I take,
having much of decisions to make…Big time…
Should I buy new brushes? Paints?
Or a pencil to draw a lighter face?
Kim Angelo Reyes 